Martial Arts

Here’s Everything You Need to Know About Saying Yes Or Saying No

Saying NO!

Awhile back, I offered to hold the door for a young woman carrying a child, several bags and a hot coffee. She threw me a look and declined my help. I stood, waiting and watching intently as she tried to look natural and in control of everything while she navigated the door. She made it through! The image of her struggling through the door stuck with me all day. What makes us think we have to “do it all” by ourselves and without help? If I had held the door for her that day, I would have smiled and then forgotten all about it. But years later, I still remember it.

Too Much Sugar

She’s not alone in refusing to accept support. Here’s my version of refusing to do something that I know would work better for me. When I sat down to write, there were 8 chocolate orange sticks left in the box. Now, there are seven. These are the very same chocolates that have caused an outbreak of spots on my face. Well, and the ice cream that was recently on sale. I still have some of that left too. Throw it away? Absolutely not! Isn’t it funny how we fight against doing what’s good for us? That’s normal for us humans.

Saying Yes!

Hayley was a stranger to me when we started chatting on Twitter whilst watching UFC 100 (Mixed Martial Arts fights) on TV this summer. She was in England and I was in the US. We happily cheered for our favorites and tweeted like mad whenever anything interesting happened. It was so much fun! It was like we were in the same room together. After a few more tweets, we graduated to becoming facebook friends. That’s how I found out that she knew Keith, my Jiu Jitsu teacher. Small world! Hayley and her husband, Pete, were planning a visit to Canada and the US with Boston being one of their stops.

I made a deal with her. If she brought me a packet of my favorite biscuits (cookies), I’d let her borrow my gi to train in. She was a good sport and said, “yes”. Hayley kept her word and turned up that Tuesday at my Martial Arts School with Pete, the “bikkies” and a big smile ready to take her first grappling class. My McVitie’s Dark Chocolate Digestives traveled from Newcastle, England through Manchester then off to Frankfurt, Calgary, Banff, Jasper, Edmonton, Minneapolis, New York City, New Jersey, and finally to me in Boston. Quite a journey and only one was broken!

Look what we would have missed if I hadn’t invited Hayley to visit or if she had said, “No.” Seems to me, the woman with the bundles, the baby and the beverage was taking life too seriously as she navigated the door. Or maybe that’s just my interpretation. Could it be that she was playing some mad game – like she was challenging herself to see if she could handle it all? For all I know, I could have been spoiling her fun.

What are you saying “Yes!” to when you mean no and “No!” to when you mean yes?

Cheryl Ragsdale discovered that blogging is an excellent platform for sharing her thoughts and observances on life with people who are willing to listen. She’s a creative writ

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Praying Mantis Lion dance team – Chinatown NYC – Chinese New Year celebration 2/8/09